


A Mortal Life

by Zhie



Category: The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Bunniverse, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-02
Updated: 2017-06-02
Packaged: 2018-11-08 05:09:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,090
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11074698
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zhie/pseuds/Zhie
Summary: Haldir and Elodien believe they have both found love, but something is still missing.





	A Mortal Life

"Three more weeks, and I am going to formally ask Elrond. Really, and truly, ask him," Haldir said. He had stopped playing his flute, and now Elodien silenced her fiddle, tucking the instrument under her arm and placing the bow across her lap.

"I'll only be ninety-seven, though," she replied.

"So we shall have an engagement thrice as long as most. I cannot wait any longer to be with you forever," admitted Haldir. "Every time I see him, I want to ask him officially - I can be very impatient about some things."

"Yes, I know that," Elodien agreed, and then smiled after Haldir looked a bit hurt. "Well, who have you in mind for the places of honor at the wedding?"

Haldir shrugged. "As much trouble as he has been, I may ask Elrond. I supported him, and we... shared a great deal of suffering when my sister came here. That was long ago, and some things have changed, but he is still very much a brother to me."

"Strange."

"What is? That I think of him as a brother?"

"No, not that," said Elodien. "That you would not think to ask one of your own brothers, or Legolas."

Haldir stiffened. "Orophin and Rumil chose each other. As for Legolas..."

Silence overcame them, the beach swallowing it as the sea crashed against the shore, monotonous and unopinionated. "He always told me that you had a very close friendship," said Elodien after putting her fiddle back into its case. "When I visited Ithilien during my years as a ranger, he spoke highly and fondly of you."

Haldir said nothing to this, opting instead to raise his flute to his lips. There they stayed for a while, he playing his music, and she watching him. Setting aside the case, she slid across the large log, smoothed by the waves, and took up a spot on his lap, angling herself so she was not in the way of the flute. Her fingers played in his hair, but his concentration was not broken, as he stared out across the sea, back to a land he knew well and never again would see.

"Haldir?"

The music did not stop; he merely shifted his gaze, waiting for the question to be asked.

"How close was your friendship?"

Continuing to play, he cocked his head to the side.

"With Legolas. How close was the friendship you and Legolas shared?" Elodien rested her arm across his shoulder and took his chin in her hand. "How intimate was the relationship you shared?"

The flute was withdrawn, the note abruptly cut off. "He was like a brother to me."

"You choose to say he was like a brother, and not that he was a brother, as you say Grandfather is." Elodien came closer, pushing back the pale hair to whisper in his ear. "When we have married and are bound, there shall be no secrets between us. I see how you look at him, how he looks at you. Ease your mind with me."

Bending down to set the flute on the top of the fiddle case, Haldir sighed. "You ask, and so I shall tell you. For long, we were as brothers are, but that unexpectedly changed, for a short time. It was after the war, before and right after my mother and your grandfather sailed here. Things changed once more - Legolas rejected his throne, I was asked to take it up. That was a short-lived part of my life as well. I came to Gondor after that, living in Minas Tirith, and obviously you know the rest. You were born only a few years after I came to live there."

Elodien nodded. "The sea called to you."

Haldir laughed, and it was harsh and unfriendly. "No, no, I have no memory of sea-calling, no voice of the gulls did I ever hear. My brothers were leaving, and I could not bear to see them sail without me. When Nana left, a part of me was torn from my soul and taken with her. The same pain I felt when your grandmother left, and I feared with the departure of Ada, Orophin, and Rumil, that I would myself fade."

"Could that have happened?" asked Elodien, holding him tightly with great concern.

"I do not know," admitted Haldir. "I was not about to find out. It was Erestor who advised me to go, and I have always tried to listen to his council. He is wiser than he is given credit for at times."

"I have another question for you," said Elodien. "And again, I wish only the truth."

"I may avoid answering your questions, but I shall only ever give you the truth," promised Haldir.

Elodien smiled and stroked his face. "Do you still love him?"

"Do not make me answer that." Haldir turned away, his shame prominent in the color of his face.

"Keep to thyself no secrets, for thou is too good of heart for this burden to shade you in darkness."

It was a quote from a wall in Minas Tirith, one which they both would have read numerous times in passing. Nodding his head solemnly and slowly, his chin was raised up and his eyes met hers.

"From your heart to your lips, I wish the words spoken to my ears," begged Elodien.

Closing his eyes, Haldir drew a breath and answered, "Yes," as he felt the hand move over his cheek and behind his neck, drawing him closer.

"Good. Because I have a secret to tell you."

\---

"The Lord Haldir to see you, your highness," said the page as he bowed at the door of the study. Legolas slowly looked up from the book he was writing in and blinked a few times, then looked to Gimli, who was sitting quite comfortably in the corner of the room.

"Go ahead, laddie, the history of my people can wait a little longer to be written," insisted Gimli, standing up to follow the page from the room after Legolas gave a nod accepting the guest. He looked down again to finish the sentence he was working on, and up once more to see Haldir standing in the doorway.

Dipping the quill back into the ink, Legolas began to write again. "Can I be of some assistance to you?"

Stepping into the room, Haldir approached the desk and set his hands on either side of the book. Legolas waited for a reply, and when he received none, looked up to find Haldir was inches from him.

"Why did you not tell me you were in love with her?"

For a time, he was unable to speak. Finally, he answered, "She swore she would tell no one."

"We are to be married. How long would the secret have lasted, Legolas?"

"What does it matter now?"

"She knows about us," Haldir finally admitted.

Laughing bitterly, Legolas looked down and replied, "There is no us."

"What if I were to tell you that there could be."

"Why, has she abandoned you now?"

"No. She is not leaving me, and I am not leaving her." Haldir took a deep breath and said, "And we do not want to leave you."

Slowly, Legolas placed his quill down, folded his hands and looked into Haldir's eyes. "And yet, we parted."

"No, we," Haldir said, moving a hand rapidly between the two of them, "did not part. You," he spoke accusingly, "left me. And you left her," he added, throwing an arm in a south-eastern direction.

"And now, you have each other," Legolas said pointedly. "As I told you, there is no us." He picked up the quill and stabbed it into the ink. "Good day."

"Legolas, please, we-"

"I said good day!" Legolas began to write again, and after a moment, made a dismissive motion with his hand.

Haldir's first reaction was to growl and slap it away, but instead, he took hold of the raised hand and kissed it, and then said, "Legolas, I love you."

"Page!" The page had not gone far, and scurried into the room. "It would please me very much if you were to escort Lord Haldir to the front door, and kindly lock it upon his departure." Legolas yanked his hand from Haldir's grasp, straightened his clothing, and dipped his quill, poising it over his paper.

Unsurely, the page made a timid motion to the door. Haldir gave one final pained look to the elf across the desk, and then walked out of the room. As he walked down the hall, he heard someone cough in a hidden alcove near the stairs.

"You gave it your best shot, laddie. He's been a difficult one these days." Gimli slowly stood up and shooed away the page. "I know where the exit is, I'll get him there for you," said the Dwarf, and the page bowed and scurried off. Gimli waited until the page had turned the corner, then motioned for Haldir to follow him down a different hallway. "I've been here well long enough to realize that part of the reason Legolas gets along so well with a Dwarf is that he's as stubborn as one himself."

Haldir did not comment, choosing to listen to Gimli's words instead. "What you really have to do," explained Gimli, "is talk to someone who will make him listen." Gimli knocked his fist against a large double door, and then pushed the doors open. Inside, there were two elves, looking up from whatever they had been silently working on. "You tell your story to them. They'll know how to talk to that silly elf of yours." Gimli settled into a chair and began to pack a pipe for himself.

Uneasily, Haldir stepped across the threshold. He had hoped that the conversation he was about to have could have waited for some time, but he now found himself facing it. Bravely approaching the elves, he bowed to them. "King Thranduil, Prince Ilmendin. I have come to speak with you, on my behalf as well as on the behalf of Lady Elodien, regarding Prince Legolas."

\- - -

When Legolas came down to dinner, he found only three places set at the round table, and two of them occupied. He stood with his shoulders squared just behind the empty seat, and waited until his brother and father stopped laughing at some joke one of them had told before he spoke. "Is Mother not eating with us?"

"She took her dinner early, and wished to go to bed," replied Thranduil, happily telling Legolas the absolute truth. When he had relayed the events of the day to her, she practically fainted, and after a small bit of wine and bread to settle her stomach, had retired. "Do not worry. I believe she may only have overexerted herself," he added, recalling the screaming fit she had after having things explained to her. Luckily, her husband had been able to bring her to her senses regarding the matter, and she was resting peacefully now.

"And Grandfather?" pressed Legolas, sensing something amiss.

Ilmendin began to uncover the dishes. "Can father not wish to have dinner with naught but his two favored sons?"

Narrowing his eyes, Legolas mumbled 'only sons' as he took his place. As he watched his father pour a goblet of wine for him, he asked, "Where have the servers gone to? Do not tell me everyone has chosen an early bedtime this eve."

"Nay, I have had them sent off for now. With only us, I saw no reason to have the staff hovering about when we can obviously fill our plates and pour our own wine." Thranduil slid the drink to his younger son, and then set to refilling his own glass as Legolas drank.

"Mmm, 'tis rabbit this evening, and freshly steamed vegetables," announced Ilmendin, setting aside another cover. "The dessert has already been placed with the meal, and I dare say, I am having it with my meal," smiled the darker elf. Ilmendin waved his hand over the dish of cobbler to waft the scent toward Legolas, hoping to entice his little brother with it. "Apples...cinnamon...raisins...I do wonder where the apples came from at this time of year," he added.

Legolas picked up his plate and held it out to his brother with a grin. Ilmendin laughed and scooped up a large portion of cobbler, placing it on the plate. "Dinner first, then dessert," scolded Thranduil, shaking his head as Ilmendin placed only meager amounts of meat and vegetables on the plate that was still held out and then his own.

Ilmendin stayed silent most of the meal, as Thranduil created a relaxed atmosphere, discussing topics of a pleasant and familiar nature with Legolas, and keeping the goblets full. When more wine was being consumed than food, Thranduil tapped his foot against Ilmendin's before seeking his wine goblet.

Folding his hands and leaning across the table, Ilmendin said, "I had a visitor today, brother."

"Really? Who came to call?" Legolas sipped his wine, his mind clear of previous events.

"An old friend of ours. Well, mostly of yours, though never has he been unfriendly to me." Ilmendin sat upright again and added, "He said he came to speak with you, but that you would not see him."

"Ah..." Legolas sat back, closing his eyes as he swirled the liquid in his cup. Sometimes, the resemblance between Legolas and Thranduil was frightening, and now, as Legolas nodded his head, Ilmendin decided it reminded him very much of his father. "It was not that I would not see him, but that I did not wish to speak to him."

"So it is about an elleth," nodded Ilmendin. Legolas opened his eyes, and the look of relaxation was replaced with one of fury.

"What has he told you?" demanded Legolas, and Thranduil laughed at the scene. Calm, patient Ilmendin sat back in his chair and shook his head while Legolas rose, his temper surfacing. "So, what he told you was amusing was it not?"

"Legolas Greenleaf, sit yourself down. Now," added Thranduil when Legolas did not comply. Legolas sat. He was well aware of the fact that the crude use of the word Greenleaf after his name implied that his father was not in a mood to deal with a debate. "I am going to assume that you know why Lord Haldir visited today." Legolas said nothing. "Do I need to repeat the words he spoke to me?"

Legolas crossed his arms and looked at Thranduil defiantly. "No, sir."

"Then I am led to believe you know why he came and what he was asking," continued Thranduil.

"Yes, sir."

"Good."

"Sir?" Legolas and Thranduil both regarded Ilmendin. "As I was asked to leave the room after Haldir said he wished to speak about Legolas to you, I really don't know what in the name of Mordor is going on. Would it be too much trouble to ask that you tell me what it was he was asking?"

Thranduil reached for the carafe and refilled all three goblets. After setting it down, he picked up his own cup and drank deeply from it, then said, "Ilmendin, let us pretend you are in love with two different elves. One is an elf, and one is an elleth."

"Fine. But only if we are pretending," he warned. "My wife would be furious otherwise."

"We are only pretending, and we shall never tell your wife," promised Thranduil. "Now, not only do you love the elf and the elleth, but they also love each other."

"Are either of them better looking than I am?" interrupted Ilmendin.

"What? No, neither of them are. You are my son, how could they be?"

"But they are fair, at least. Decent looking?"

"You will not have to throw a potato sack over their heads when you take them in public, if that is what you mean," sighed Thranduil, emptying the rest of the wine into his glass.

"Good. Please, go on."

Legolas still had his arms crossed and was making various huffing noises as it suited him. He now rolled his eyes, hoping Ilmendin caught that he thought his brother more than childish in his behavior, but the action was ignored.

"The two of them, the elves you love, they have decided to marry," said Thranduil.

"That is wonderful!" exclaimed Ilmendin, but he paused and said, "Oh, wait. What about me?"

"They have asked you to be... with them... in a sort of... group..." Thranduil said, not sure yet himself how to explain it.

"Is that possible?" Ilmendin asked, glancing over at Legolas.

"Why not?" shrugged Thranduil.

"Well... that should make me happy, right?" Ilmendin looked at Legolas again. "You told him no. Is that what you did?" He picked up a stray raisin and tossed it at his brother. "He is one of the few tolerable elves you have shown interest in! Why did you say no?"

The dried fruit caught Legolas off-guard and hit him on the side of the head. Stunned at first, Legolas picked up the raisin from his lap and flicked it, hitting Ilmendin in the nose. "Because I did not want to listen to everyone disapproving. All of the rude words and whispering behind my back. The angry looks from my family."

"I am not angry. Father, are you angry?" asked Ilmendin, turning to Thranduil. Thranduil shook his head.

"You... you do not approve of this, do you?" wondered Legolas.

"Why not? Why should I disapprove? When have I ever told you no when you wanted something?" Thranduil waited for reply, and received none. "Right now, are you happy?"

"What sort of question is that? Yes, I am happy, I am-"

"Legolas," warned Thranduil.

Legolas frowned. "No. I am not very happy at all."

"And if Haldir and Elodien wed, will that make you happy?"

Legolas shrugged. "Perhaps a little. I-" Legolas bit his lip.

"Go on," prodded Thranduil.

"I love them both," he admitted.

Thranduil nodded. "Then you should tell them that. Do not care what a thousand nameless elves think. Care what those who care about you think." Thranduil stood, mostly to retrieve another bottle of wine, and came to Legolas. He placed a hand on his son's shoulder and said, "You have my blessings," before walking in the direction of the hall that would lead to the wine cellar.

"And mine, brother, if you cease to throw fruit at me," grinned Ilmendin, and then he frowned and asked, "Lady Elodien - have I met her?"

"Arwen Undomiel's daughter," called Thranduil from the halls. "If you wish to reacquaint yourself with her, she is up in Legolas's quarters with Haldir."

\- - -

The door opened and Legolas marched purposefully into the room, pushing the door shut behind him. Haldir turned around, having been at the window looking down on the courtyard of the palace. Sitting on the edge of a divan, Elodien looked up and stood as soon as Legolas entered.

Thranduil's suggestion, once he had been apprised of the situation, was that the pair should hide in Legolas's chambers. Gimli had been instrumental in sneaking them in, keeping them in his rooms until dinner, and then smuggling them into the rooms they were in now. None of the three of them truly knew what to say to the others, so for quite some time, Legolas wandered the room, looking from time to time to one or the other of his former lovers before finally he walked up to Elodien and slowly took her hands in his. "I have missed you, little princess."

"I have missed waking with you, little prince," answered Elodien. Near the window, Haldir took a greater interest in the conversation, realizing now that he apparently missed something important somewhere. He only now realized that not only had Legolas cared about her and loved her, but he had likely made love to her. In Haldir's mind, the looks he watched exchanged now confirmed those thoughts.

"Aye." Legolas traced a finger along Elodien's cheek and said, "I should not have left you."

"I do not fault you for it, you know that," she said, her own hands reaching for his face. They closed the distance between them rapidly, embracing, caressing, and kissing. "But leave me not again," she pleaded.

"Never again will I leave you without your permission, my princess."

Haldir felt a pain in his chest, and at first, he believed it to be jealousy. But to his surprise, it was guilt, for he understood now why Legolas had slowly shied away from others and closed himself away here in Oropher's palace. Legolas had had a simple longing to be close to Elodien, and Haldir closed his eyes shamefully, thinking on the number of times he had refused invitation on behalf of himself and Elodien for things so small as a walk along the beach. Yet, Legolas had not spoken a word, and though his earlier outburst seemed full of anger, was it not possible that it had been full of love as well? 'He loves us so much, he would put our happiness before his own,' realized Haldir. Opening his eyes, he saw Legolas beckoning him closer, and he came without question.

"Before I loved you," Legolas whispered to Elodien, "I told you I loved another." The hand that was outstretched and reaching for Haldir was close enough to touch the other elf, and Legolas curled his fingers around Haldir's neck, pulling him close. "I feared you would think less of me to know it was not an elleth or another maiden." Elodien nestled against Legolas as he claimed Haldir's lips. "But now I see we both share the same excellent taste," he smiled as he released Haldir.

"I thought elves came in pairs," spoke Elodien. "I want to believe I have no choice to make. The feeling of being complete that Nana always spoke of, I think, finally, I feel something of that tonight. But how can it be?"

"There are rare cases of such things," explained Legolas, "but it does not happen often, and it is spoken of even less."

"Because it is forbidden?" guessed Elodien.

"No," laughed Legolas. "No, little princess, how could love be forbidden? No, it is because it is not easily understood."

Haldir smiled to see Legolas happy once again, and drew an arm around Legolas's waist, and the other around Elodien's. "Thank the Valar your father seems to understand."

"He is a brilliant elf," complimented Legolas. He snaked his arms similar to Haldir, and soon the three were huddled together, and Legolas grinned madly. "I am just… I am just so lucky," he settled upon, and hugged the other two tighter.

"I am just so tired!" exclaimed Elodien. Haldir chuckled and pulled Elodien into his arms as he separated from their circle, hugging her tight as Legolas gave him an odd look.

"I insisted we ride here to speak with you, but I changed my mind and came to speak with you alone," Haldir explained, rubbing Elodien's back. "Elodien was at Galadhon's, and I arrived after talking to your father, for he told me that we should come back and await you here, but to do so, we had to ride swiftly."

Legolas furrowed his brow. "Where were you coming from in the first place?"

"Home," said Haldir and Elodien at the same time.

"And when did you set out?"

"Yesterday. In the evening," added Haldir.

"Aiya, Haldir, you must not have taken rest since then!" shouted Legolas, shaking his head as he took Elodien from Haldir's arms. "I suppose you have not slept then, either."

Elodien shook her head as Legolas took her to his bed, turning down the covers. "We shall leave you to rest, princess. Sleep as long as you need, no one will seek to wake you in the morning." Elodien nodded and crawled into the bed, too tired to care that she was still in her riding clothes. Legolas kissed her on the cheek as Haldir approached the bed. "If you have want of anything, there is a cord that can be pulled. I will explain everything to the pages. Rest, little princess," he said softly, ghosting a kiss on her lips.

Haldir knelt down as Legolas stood. Taking hold of Elodien's hand, Haldir kissed her wrist, and the back of her hand. Elodien smiled and sat up, nuzzling against Haldir neck. He practically purred, and she settled back into the bed. "Good night, my love," whispered Haldir as he pressed a final kiss on her nose. Elodien was already dozing off as he pulled back, and Haldir turned to find the door was open and Legolas was gone.

\- - -

A room was made ready for Haldir, as was one for Legolas. Thranduil deemed it improper for anyone to be in the room with Elodien, save the elleth he sent to help her change into some nightclothes. No matter how lengthy the protest from Legolas that there was nothing wrong with all three of them sharing the rooms for the evening, Thranduil stated that proper decorum did not allow for it, and that he preferred not to have Elrond's wrath upon him should details ever make it to the peredhel. After a more formal discussion between father and son, Legolas slipped into his room to retrieve the black leather bag that was kept just inside the door before going to the courtyard.

Moonlight lit his way, as did the stars, and Legolas paused when he saw someone sitting on the great stump that once was a magnificent tree in the yard. Haldir, who had been staring up at the stars, noticed Legolas and began to stand, but Legolas motioned that he should sit. There was more than enough room for two elves, and Legolas came to sit next to him on the stump.

Without saying anything, he removed each piece of the sleek black instrument from its case with care, placing them in his lap. He then took a reed from a small silver box that was in a pocket on the side. Legolas tossed the case at his feet and put the reed in his mouth as he carefully assembled the clarinet, fingering the silver keys experimentally.

Haldir watched all of this in silence, but could no longer bear to wait to ask the question plaguing his mind. "What made you part? Surely, it could not have been me. We were not even speaking to one another, and yet, she says you spoke highly of me. Help me understand this," pleaded Haldir.

Legolas withdrew the reed from his mouth and affixed it to his instrument. "After you had sailed, I began to come to Minas Tirith more than I had. I did not feel comfortable just dropping in with you there all the time."

"Minas Tirith is a large place, Legolas," Haldir reminded him.

"Be that as it may, I felt safer in Ithilien. You vowed never to come there," said Legolas.

"I should never have said some of the things I did," said Haldir regretfully. He pulled one of Legolas' hands from his clarinet and held it gently, bowing his head to kiss the pale skin. "Can I ever hope to have you forgive my harsh words?"

"They were forgiven as soon as they were spoken. It was my actions that were harsh and unforgivable, and my pride that prevented me from apology at that time." Legolas squeezed the hand that held his. "When I met Elodien, I met a sad young woman who was constantly picked on by older siblings. She did not fit in with the rest of her family and wanted to escape and to travel. She hated her royal life. That was me, Haldir, that was what I was growing up and even now it is what I am! You knew her as a child, but I knew her as she took her first uncertain steps into adulthood."

"And you were there to help her." Haldir had both of his hands wrapped around Legolas's one, and listened intently as Legolas told the rest of the tale.

"We became great friends, and in time, more than that. Aye, Haldir, she and I were lovers once, that it why I was so cold to you when you first took an interest in her. Part of me still hung onto a thread of hope," he said wistfully.

Haldir waited for Legolas to continue. When he did not, he asked, "Why, though? If you were lovers, what came between you?"

Legolas smiled ruefully. "Her father. He made an unexpected announcement at a wedding reception for a high member of his court, telling everyone that he knew who the next to be married were. He proceeded to cheer us, and practically pushed me before the gathering. I made some sort of flustered announcement, but it was obvious to many that I was not aware of any of it. Afterwards, I confronted Estel. I told him I was not sure I could marry his daughter, and when he asked for reason why, I was honest. Too honest, and Arwen overheard. She in turn told Elodien, who refused to see me thereafter in the city. She and I eventually made amends and she came to Ithilien now and again during her years as a ranger."

"Legolas, what did you say?" Haldir brought one hand up to the other elf's cheek, repeating his question.

Legolas closed his eyes and said, "Things were not the same between Estel and I. Arwen barely said a word to me after that, either. The words she did offer were bitter yet deserved. I left after the death of Estel not only to embrace the sea, but to run from my fate." Legolas finally set his clarinet down on the case and slid closer to Haldir, who placed an arm around his waist. "Your mother showed me her famed mirror once, a long time ago. Before you were even born. She told me not to believe all that was seen, but of the images, one stood out in my mind ever since. A beautiful face, not so pale as an elf, with deep amber eyes. Those eyes haunted me, Haldir. They called to me, but in the end, it was the sea that I listened to." He was leaning against Haldir now, embraced by him.

"Tell me what you said," he whispered into Legolas' ear as a single tear fell down the elder's cheek.

"I said, 'I cannot choose a mortal life'."


End file.
